I'm Not Alright
by no heart to follow
Summary: Takes place after the Chimera Ant Arc. Illumi has found out about Killua's newfound confidence in battle and he isn't happy. When he gets Hisoka involved things for Gon and Killua can and will go very wrong. Will their friendship survive? Yaoi!


Warning! This story is rated **M **for a reason! 

Disclaimer: I don't own HunterXHunter, it's got enough psycho pedophiles without me writing more into it.

This story is not going to be a pretty one! I wrote it to vent all my evil out in one spot! And...I kinda wanted to post it for some reason...

It will contain: Violence, yaoi/slash, psychotic pedophiles, and **RAPE! **(Well, not in this chapter)Something I never thought I'd find myself writing about... Also please note that this is my first time writing anything like this and it's probably not going to be (or at least I hope not) to graphic or accurate.

That's not all that's in here, I've tried to give it something besides traumatizing stuff.

Pairings: Not quite sure yet but: GonXKillua, onesided HisokaXKillua, HisokaXGon (no big change there). And IllumiXHisoka, LeorioXKurapika if you read between the lines and use your imagination.

You have been warned, and hopefully not scarred for life. So without further delay, my fic!

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It was a dark and stormy night (No, really). Torrential rain pounded down on the small, cheap hotel (they could've afforded a better one buy they were too tired to look). Water leaked from cracks in the ceiling. The harsh winds howled and blew through the loose windowpanes, chilling the dark room, and would occasionally slip in a spray of freezing moisture from the tempest outside. A boy with jet-black spiky hair lay on the only bed, wide-awake. It wasn't just because of the howling winds, icy air, or loud noises, or even his sleeping friend's constant thrashing about in his sleep; that normally wouldn't bother the insomnia troubled child. No, the true cause of his lack of sleep was something else entirely.

Well, not entirely.

Gon sighed as the other's foot jabbed into his stomach, followed by the white haired boy's loud snore. "Ugh, Killua! You're worse than me!" He muttered as he shoved the foot, which had moved up to kick him in the face, away. Killua rolled over, falling off of the bed, his feet still sticking up in the air.

Gon crawled over to see if the slightly older boy was okay. Leaning over he could see only Killua's back and his fluffy head with his face sticking down in the carpet. The black haired boy smiled goofily and was about to hoist his friend back onto the bed when suddenly the former assassin rolled again. Gon had been leaning between the other boy's legs and was now caught by the left as the other boy spun. He was dragged to the floor as well, landing with a cry of 'oof!' Gon was now sprawled out on top of Killua, his body on the white haired boy's right leg and his arm and head on the white haired boy's stomach. Killua's left leg rested across Gon's back. Said Hunter's face reddened in embarrassment.

Just then Gon realized the dangers of landing on an assassin (even an ex-assassin) while they slept, especially one with Killua's reflexes.

A snore.

Never mind…

"Wow," Gon breathed, surprised, "you must be really tired." Killua's response was to try and roll over again, but Gon's presence prevented this. The other's brow furrowed when he found his way blocked. Unconsciously, Killua reached down to the weight on his stomach, his hand landing on Gon's head. The boy grabbed a fistful of Gon's hair and pulled. "OW!" Spiky-head shouted, his shaking his head to try and dislodge it from his friends grip, "KILLUA, WAKE UP!"

The other gasped and straight up, he released his vice grip on Gon's hair, dropping the head into his lap. "Eh…?" yawn, "Gon…? You're not chocolate…" Gon sweatdropped.

Of course he'd be dreaming about sweets!

Suddenly the door burst open, Gon quickly scurried away from Killua. A shirtless Leorio and a worried Kurapika stood in the doorway. Kurapika had the thin blanket from the hotel's bed wrapped around him and his eyes were caught between concern and exhaustion. Leorio was wearing heart print boxers. Scary.

"what's wrong?" The dazed adult asked, looking around frantically. "The Spiders? Hisoka? Is the Giant Vampire Hamster scaring you again Gon? Man, I thought for sure we'd taken care of him last week!"

Gon flushed as Kurapika and Killua shot him identical questioning looks. "Okay…" The conjurer started tiredly, "I'm going to ignore that. Gon, what's wrong? Why did you scream?"

"Uh…Killua was pulling my hair," Gon muttered sheepishly, embarrassed that he'd awoken his other two friends, and now that he looked, the entire hotel staff and the other residents were standing behind them, gazing in at the two with disapproving looks.

Killua either didn't notice or didn't care, "What?!" He snapped, indignant. "No I wasn't!" He grabbed the black haired boy and growled.

"Yes, you were! Why else would I scream 'Killua, wake up' at the top of my lungs?" Gon shot back.

"The transformer scoffed, "Tons of reasons! An attack by enemies for one, or you had a bad dream, or you had to go to the bathroom and I was laying on top of-"

"Okay, then why do you have some of my hair in your hands?"

"Wha…?" Killua looked down at his hand, sure enough there were several porcupine-like quills from Gon's head in his palm. "This proves nothing…" he sulked, defeated.

"That's all fine and dandy," a gruff vice mumbled, "but I have a business to run here, and I have enough trouble without two screaming brats running around causing trouble." A fat man pushed Leorio and Kurapika aside rather roughly. "I only made the exception because you were Hunters. But I don't care anymore. You two are out."

Gon and Killua looked outside; the rain beat even harder on the glass, threatening to shatter it.

The assassin glared, _I'm adding Mother Nature to my list, _he thought bitterly.

"Ah, sorry...we'll be quiet from now on sir!" Gon said, bowing slightly.

"No. I have a one strike you're out policy here, kid."

_Fat manager: on the list. _

"Kurapika and Leorio were thinking along the same lines, "what's wrong with you?! The twenty year old growled, "It's raining cats and dogs out there!" 

"Yes, this is completely uncalled for."

"You're keeping my customers awake!" the fat man bellowed, "if you don't like the way I run things then you can get out too!"

"Fine," Kurapika huffed, turning on his heel to go pack up.

"No!" Gon stood up, "it's only a few more hours until morning," he pointed out, "me and Killua wlll be fine until then. We can go explore the town; we didn't get a chance yesterday. It'll be fun, right Killua?"

Killua looked out the window again and cringed, fun was the last thing that came to mind. But he hadn't missed the challenging undertone in Gon's voice. And as much as he would despise walking around soaked to the bone in a town where anything that could possibly interest him was closed down, it was equally detestable to back down from a challenge from Gon. "Yeah," He said with convincing confidence, "if the weather gets too rough for Gon I could always take him to a restaurant or something," The shorter boy's eye twitched at that, but Killua also saw his face go red. _What's up with him? _

"At two thirty in the morning?" Leorio asked skeptically. 

"We'll be fine!" (Famous last words)

Suddenly the halls were lit by a bright flash of white light, illuminating the worry lines on the elders of the group. "Fine...?" Kurapika's eye was twitching like mad and his face was pale. He was probably going to start foaming at the mouth any second.

Killua waited for the blonde avenger to explode in their faces.

"Just go to bed guys," Gon said quickly, marching past the manager and pushing the two tall ones into their rooms, slamming the door shut before they could protest.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Question." Killua said as they left the hotel, fully aware of the hateful gaze of the manager following them as they walked. "Why didn't you want Leorio or Kurapika to come?"

Gon was quiet for a moment. Finally he replied, "I kinda just wanted to hang out with you for a while," he admitted, "ever since we met up with them it's been the four of us. Aside from at night (and we're asleep then or in different rooms) I don't get time alone with you."

Killua blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Is something wrong with wanting to spend more time with you?" Gon asked innocently.

"Er, no...I guess not." Killua shrugged, flushing and turning away. "Just don't say it like that. It's embarrassing."

"Oh, okay."

"Besides," the cat eyed boy went on, "it's not like we can't just ditch those two for a day to hang out. I'm sure they'd appreciate the time alone."

Gon nodded happily.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Killua was having some trouble seeing. The rain had soaked through his clothes and hair causing his bangs to fall into his eyes just like he expected. Through his distorted vision he saw Gon walking along with no problem, his pointy hair seemingly immune to all forces of nature. Killua sulked. When they paused he took the opportunity to shake the water from his hair. It puffed out, then instantly was flattened against his head by the downpour. He kept walking after that, not realizing that Gon had stayed behind to stare at some statue of a man with long hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"He looks awful familiar..." the boy mused.

Killua was annoyed, tired and currently not bothering to pay attention to his friend's missing Aura. Luckily, Gon quickly realized that his friend had moved on without him. Of course, what 'quickly' is, is a matter of opinion. In my opinion, quickly is realizing that something's happened before forty five minutes have passed. This may be different for you, depends on the person. "Hmm..." Gon walked in circles around the rock carving, trying to find a name or inscription of some sort in the stone. "Who is he?!" He cried out in fustration, "Killua, do you recognize this guy? I'm not crazy right?" Gon waited for the white haired boy to answer, "What's that silence supposed to mean?" He asked, spinning around and growling, only to realize he'd been talking to the air. "Eh...!? Where'd he go!?" Gon sniffed the air, catching the faint scent of the other heading further down the street. "KILLUA!" The shout resonated for several blocks, louder even than the clap of thunder that sounded just as he called out.

"Hey, shut up!" A voice growled from one of the houses lining the street.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?!" came another.

"I have a big presentation tomorrow! Let me concentrate!"

"SORRY!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Oops...sorry..." he whispered, cringing. "I guess I'll have to go look for him."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Killua, meanwhile, was half sleeping half waking on the other side of town. He'd made quite some ground; how? We may never know. He was currently traveling along at a snails pace, about ready to sit down and go back to sleep, rain or no rain. He stretched and yawned, "Gon, are you going to pick a place to go already? I'm sleepy."

"You left Gon behind a while ago," A familiar (very creepy) voice drawled from behind him. Killua snapped to attention, whirling around and jumping backwards at the same time, cursing himself for letting his guard down. He bumped into something hard; the creepy laughter of Hisoka the Magician echoed in his ears. It was an eerie sound that sent shivers up his spine.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Well, yeah, that's the first of it. Please tell me what you thought.


End file.
